Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Lazy Moms and Potty Talk and Signs of Spring

Edited to add: I'm not sure what happened with Blogger yesterday but clearly there was some sort of catastrophic cyber hiccup that resulted in this post and several comments getting deleted. Oh well. I guess the internet is a fickle friend. I believe the original post was perhaps wittier or more eloquent, but to the best of my recollection it went a little something like this...

I briefly lost Sawyer the other morning. I would love to tell you that this was an isolated incident, but in truth he does tend to disappear from time to time. When I heard his maniacal laughter coming from the deck I knew he'd gotten ahold of the garden hose. I stepped into the pouring rain to behold this sight:

I dunno- this is just so him. So very Sawyer. And yes, underwear again because... Sawyer is a VERY BIG potty using boy.

(Sob. My baby is growing up. But at least my washing machine will get a well-deserved reprieve.)

Jack has been doing a lot of potty talk lately and not the pleasant mind if I use your powder room? kind. He is all about the pee and poop jokes and butts are now the funniest things in the ENTIRE WORLD (maybe I would be laughing more if I had one. Oh you never noticed? I have no junk in my trunk. None. At. All. And for those of you who think that having no butt is better than having a big butt need to think again. At least your pants stay up. )

Anyway, all this potty talk has been driving me crazy but has also generated some enthusiasm about bodily functions and suddenly Sawyer wants to wear BIG BOY underwear and use the potty. So thanks, Jack. I guess. The topic of potty training seems to come up in conversation a lot in my world and so I think I'll weigh in with my own Lazy Mom's Approach to Potty Training. Here goes:

1. Use cloth diapers with your babies. You should do this whether or not you want to potty train early because of that whole not destroying the planet thing. If you do wash your own, though, you will want to get those kids out of diapers post-haste. Trust me.

2. Start whenever you and your kid are ready. Our pediatrician told me not to even think about potty training boys until 2 1/2. Both my boys were ready before that and there you go. I guess you know your own kid best.

3. Put your kid in underwear. Get ready for some accidents. A little pee and poop is really no biggie, especially if you've been washing diapers for the past two years. Making mistakes is part of the learning process, so resist the urge to hover over your child and whisk him/her off to the potty every five minutes.

4. That said, toddlers are like puppies, you take them out a lot. We have always let the boys pee outside and let's face it, boys of all ages enjoy peeing en plein air. I bet girls do, too.

5. We double up on underwear when we go out in public. We always pee before we leave the house.

6. Chocolate chips are a fun reward. Hugs and high fives seem to work even better.

7. Pull ups are diapers. Skip those.

8. Be patient. Rome was not built in a day.

9. This seems like a lot of work. Why is this the Lazy Mom's Approach to Potty Training? Because lazy moms do not want to be changing diapers for the next year. Lazy moms want to get this potty party started.

And the other party that I want to get started? Spring. What the hell, weather?! I've been searching for signs of life, for evidence that spring will eventually arrive. I found some snippets of color that give me hope. Still, actually reaching 70 degrees for once would make me feel even more optimistic.

It is hard to feel springlike when you are still wearing your fuzzy winter socks. Also, just fired up the wood stove, AGAIN.

And then there was Mother's Day. I am sure Brent had some elaborate plans to pamper me and he must have been crestfallen when I decided to head north to spend the day with my dad's family. In the spirit of divide and conquer, I took Jack and Sawyer stayed home with Brent.

Did your Mother's Day brunch start with a round of homebrew? Mine did.

Jack was a perfect little gentleman who ate with us and then played legos and colored as we sipped our drinks around the table. And let's face it, at this point in my life, a sit down meal that is uninterrupted by potty talk or potty needs just might be the best Mother's Day gift of all.

That homebrew was pretty damn good, too.

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