Saturday, January 22, 2011

Acid Washed Jeans, Silver Spangled Hamburgs, and Bribery Through Chocolate Chips

So apparently the big trend these days is to have backyard chickens. It would be cool if I could tell you that we got our backyard chickens before the big backyard chicken trend of 2009, because then we could claim to be so cool that we do the cool things before they become cool to everybody else, but that would be a lie and I'm working on being a better person these days, you know. (Three birthdays remembered! I'm three for four!)

But no. We heard about uber hip urban chicken farmers getting chickens and we wanted to become uber hip urban chicken farmers, and so we jumped on board that backyard chicken bandwagon and here we are today: uber hip urban chicken farmers. Well, the uber hip part is questionable, but we do have chickens and I am happy to tell you that they live in our backyard.

It's always nice when the cool stuff is affordable. And when it makes sense. Unlike those ridiculously priced acid washed Guess jeans I HAD to have in the seventh grade because OH MY GOD EVERYBODY ELSE HAS THEM AND SO I MUST HAVE THEM TOO! CONFORMITY RULES! That kind of a trend is pointless. But chickens in your backyard? Now that is a useful trend.

And it even kind of seems like it's cool to be poor these days. (Thank you economic recession!) Or at least to be frugal or less extravagant or green or whatever you want to call it. And let's hope this trend continues so we don't have to shell out big bucks for our kids' designer jeans.

(For the record, I paid for my uber hip acid washed Guess jeans with my OWN money that I slaved away to earn by babysitting the neighborhood ruffians because my parents steadfastly refused to indulge my materialistic preteen tendencies and balked at the hefty $30 price tag on those jeans of my dreams. $30 for a pair of jeans?! A STEAL by today's standards! My god, I must be getting old.)

(But really, can you put a price tag on being cool? I would have totally paid way more than $30 to become cool in the seventh grade. Sadly, my Guess jeans did grant me the upward mobility in popularity at Hamlin Middle School that I had hoped for. Oh well, look at me now- I have backyard chickens!)

But even though we have these two lovely birds living rent free in our backyard, we still have to buy eggs. Hazel, the fine fowl appearing in the above picture, is the only one laying right now and we're lucky to get an egg every other day. I guess Ruby is taking a break from her egg laying duties, but hopefully she will resume her production this spring because having a chicken that doesn't lay eggs is bordering on that pointless trend business that we were discussing earlier.

We eat a lot of eggs. A lot. I never knew how much I liked eggs until we had our chickens. Fresh eggs are so much different than grocery store eggs. They are richer, tastier, and- I have no scientific evidence to back this claim up but- they make me feel good? I dunno. I just feel full and satisfied after I eat these eggs. And the kids like them, too. Win win!

But our lazy chickens just can't seem to keep up with our egg needs (fortunately I have access to backyard chicken eggs through my work, but still...) and so we are considering adding to our flock this spring with a pair of Silver Spangled Hamburgs. Anybody have any thoughts on this particular variety of chicken? Many of you probably think that chickens are chickens, but the uber hip urban chicken farmers among you will quickly insist that some chickens are far superior to others. I really don't care, as long as we get some damn eggs.

Especially when my backyard is overgrown with various species of fungi. Then I just want to hide out in my house and make cookies. And you need eggs for those.

We drag the kids outside to play rain or shine. I am totally willing to wash muddy jeans and spray down boots after a day of fresh air playing. I think it's good for us all.

A lot of you have talked to me lately about my confession that the kids seem to despise each other. I will stay the course. One friend advised me to assume that they will eventually become friends and proceed under that assumption. I like that one. That I can do. I was a little discouraged this week when I asked the boys to hug each other and they just couldn't make it happen. I'm really not sure what the barrier was here, but they seemed to be trying and yet it just didn't work. They were like two opposed magnets- once they got close to each other it was as if some invisible force pushed them away. I even bribed them with chocolate chips to no avail. I had the camera ready and waiting for the big hug to happen... this would have been THE Kodak moment of the freaking year for us...

So my kids will not hug each other, not even for chocolate chips. Let me tell you something about these kids- they will do virtually anything for chocolate chips! They will act like monkeys! They will fetch your slippers! They will eat spinach! They will jump up and down and sing the Chocolate Chip song! But they draw the line at affectionate physical contact with each other. SOMEONE TELL ME THAT IS NORMAL. Evidently they are freaks.

But I am trying to be that new and improved version of myself, so instead of closing this on why I believe my children are total weirdos, let's look at a beautiful picture of the winter moon! Like I said before, the fresh air playing is good for us all.

1 comment:

  1. That is some hard-core, cold war hug agreement. I have no siblings, so I have zero perspective to offer on the situation... but I hear from grown up siblings who couldn't stand each other when they are children and who love each other lots now. Keep going with the chocolate chips... or up the ante! :)