If I can't even come up with a conclusion, you certainly can't expect a title: Alternatively Titled: New Year's 2011

Many, many, maaaaany, many years ago (about 5 to be exact), we used to stay out all night a fabulous and swanky Dinner Party Event Soiree Extravaganza Ultimate Drink Smack Down for New Years. In fact, I think I'm still hung over from one of those parties (Laura, you know what I'm talking about!).

Is it New Years or New Year's? Or could it possibly be New Years'? They all look wrong to me, but what do I know, I'm just a middle school English teacher. I think it wants the apostrophe. I could be wrong.

Anyway, this year it was the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer party at Lily's house with drinks, dinner, dessert, and a Rudolph pinata. Yes, you read that right, a Rudolph pinata. I am friends with some talented people.

I think the look on Lily's face says it all. Rudolph must die.

Speaking of death and animals and such, I ate meat. Did you hear me? I said I ATE SOME MEAT! Oh, you didn't know that I was vegetarian? Well, let me tell you a bit about my eating habits: they are weird. I'm not a true vegetarian. I'll eat meat if there are no other options and I'm trying not to be the pain in the ass high maintenance dinner guest that I truly am. However, if you serve meatloaf with a side of bacon, it just might conjure up that hangover from New Years 2005 (or would that be New Year's 2005?) and that would be unpleasant for all of us. So yeah, meat's not my thing. If we could afford to eat organic and humanely treated animals we would. But we can't, so we don't.

Or, we didn't until our friend Jeremy went hunting and I grilled him (bad pun- so very bad. I blame my father for instilling in me an appreciation for bad puns) about the chase, the weaponry, the blood, the last breath, and the butcher of his elk. I decided that this particular elk had lived a pretty good life and that if elk steak was what was for dinner, I'd be eating. Besides, when you show up for New Years dinner and this guy is cooking, you really can't say no...

Actual animals were harmed in the making of this meal. An entire house was almost burned down as a result of this meal. The pressure was on, I had to try it...

And it was delicious! Well, the first few bites were, anyway. I nibbled a bit and savored the meaty goodness as it melted in my mouth and satisfied some primordial craving that I never knew I had. But after awhile my stomach started to feel heavy and the meat didn't chew as easily and pretty soon I was spitting chunks into the garbage.

So I think it's probably back to the pseudo vegetarian lifestyle for me. I think that unless I grow the balls to kill the animal myself, I probably have no right to eat it. And it doesn't look like I'll be growing balls anytime soon.

Speaking of gender reassignment: Jack is sewing! We gave Lily a toy sewing machine (that had my ovaries quaking) for Christmas and Jack really had a hard time letting the gift out the door, so I bestowed upon him my Singer that's been collecting cobwebs in the closet for the past few years (I sew on a New Home- my mom's old machine- in case you are a sewing geek like me and enjoy knowing these things). Most people will tell you to take the needle out or sew on paper or at least supervise your kid the first time he/she takes the helm of the machine. I just let him go and off he went. Jack is very cautious and has seen me stab my finger with a sewing needle enough times to be afraid of the poky parts of the machine.

Note a very sleepy Sawyer in the background.

I'm trying really hard to be excited for January and February, but it's hard. The post holidays let down is kind of a bitch and those two months can be long. So I've been attempting to focus my attention on the fun winter things we can do while we wait for spring to make its welcomed appearance.

Like Jack drawing a still life of his pirate ship. (Do I seem like I am bragging about Jack's artistic talents? Because I totally am. Seriously, the kid can draw. Sure, he may plateau in kindergarten, but for now- Look! My kid is an artist!)

Or warming up with hot chocolate after a chilly bike ride around the block.

Testing the birdbath to see if the water really is frozen. It was.

Getting clean clothes wet and dirty. Ruining shoes.

Learning the important concept of pedals.

Attempting to use the potty. We've had some success...

Keeping our feet warm in the most logical way possible.

Playing Cooties with whoever is willing.

Trying to recreate the Irish coffees we had in San Francisco. I don't think we have it quite right yet. We need a few more trial runs...

And Brent's well earned escape to Willamette Pass for a day of sunshine and snowboarding.

You would think that I would be thrilled by Jack's interest in sewing. Let me tell you, I am thrilled, but am also starting to wonder if I've created a monster here. He now wants to sew ALL THE TIME. No really. ALL THE TIME. It is a good thing that I have unlimited supplies of thread, a box of hand me down fleece (thanks Nona!), and endless patience for this new hobby of his. Here he is tracing fabric for a pillow.

And the finished product! (A gift for Lily. Awwww. Sweet? Weird? Hard to tell...)

And I'll close this by telling you about our trip to the Cascades Raptor Center where we saw owls and magpies and falcons and...

Bald eagles! Man, they are so majestic and regal and just plain bad ass.

The turkey vultures were pretty rad, too, but nothing holds a candle to the bald freaking eagle. So I suggest you go to the CRC so that you too can bask in the bald eagle's glory.

You see that glory there? That's what I'm talking about.

And I have no real conclusion to this, so I guess I'll just sign out with one more shout out to my dead homies... Oh wait, I mean my old drinking buddies, people who give me fabric (and thread racks!), and the bad ass bald eagle. (Should I be capitalizing bald eagle? Bald Eagle. Does that look better? God, I'm starting to bore myself here.)

(Bad puns, misplaced or omitted apostrophes and questionable capitalization? This post really sucks, Miss English Teacher Know It All. (At least I don't correct people's text messages)).

(Can I do the double parentheses like that? Where does the punctuation go?)

MY GOD! STOP! YOU ARE SUCKING THE LIFE FROM THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE! AND YOU DARE TO CALL YOURSELF AN ENGLISH TEACHER! YOU INSULT THE PROFESSION!

(Yikes. Now I am having some sort of schizophrenic argument about grammar right here in front the internet and everyone. Interesting. Nowhere to go from here except down.)

And so I'm out. No really, I think this post is done. Let's put this one to bed.

(Happy New Year!)

Just looked it up: it's New Year's, in case you were going to lose sleep over that one. Or correct me via text message. 'Cause that's just not cool.

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