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Yep, we are kicking back and savoring this warm summer weather, playing in the pool with the kids, watching the chickens overheat and the garden explode, and then cooling off with beers in hand as the sun goes down. This is my favorite time of the year.

Or is it? Summer is bittersweet for me. I miss my mom. I think about her a lot on these hot summer days, especially when I'm out in the garden. I have these moments when the sun is shining and the kids are being funny or sweet and everything feels so perfect in that moment, and then it's gone so fast because she's not here. So it can never be perfect. And it never will.

I'm still running. This is good because to be honest, four months ago I really wasn't sure if I would stick with it. I have restarted my running career so many times that I am always hesitant to say I'm running again because I know that I can be so flaky. But it seems that I am really running again, so yay me! I've even committed to running a 10k in August with my dad, so I now I had definitely better not get flaky with the running.

While I was running the other morning I was thinking about how a lot of people I know say that they hate running. I totally get that. I hate running, too, for the first mile. So much of running is mental and I usually have some sort of psychological hurdle to overcome in that first mile. Once I pass it I am fine. So I can totally understand why someone who hasn't jumped their hurdle yet would hate running. I've gotten runner's high before and I've definitely hit the wall a few times, but mostly for me it's just that first mile drag that I experience consistently. I just have to push through with the lead in my feet until the sensation passes and them I'm fine- both physically and mentally. It's so weird that your mind can control your body without your consent. I don't even really always know what my hurdles are, but running past that first mile is how I get over them.

So that's what I'm going to keep doing this summer- living in the moment with my family, picking blueberries, picnicking in the park, blanching and freezing everything I can from the garden, and lacing up those running shoes when the lump in my throat starts to form.

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